Worry for What?

I think it is a natural part of being a woman and a mother.  One of those human characteristics that we all have and we all seem to do at times.   I guess it just recently dawned on me that the majority of the things I worry and ponder over are things that I have absolutely no control over either.  I have no control over them, nor do I have control over the outcome of them.  But still, I try with every ounce of my being to hold the reigns and think that I am somehow guiding this invisible beast in one way or the other. 

There is much energy spent in doing this "worrying" thing!  It is truly exhausting and accomplishes nothing but making the person expelling all this energy feel worse about whatever it is they are worrying over.  I wish I knew why it was a natural part of our nature to want to do something that is not helpful to us at all - but yet we still do it, sometimes without realizing it.

I decided that I had been doing this for such a long time and have such an investment in it, that it was high time that I learned a little more about it.  So, I decided to do some research about worrying.  I know, it sounds crazy, but; it was actually really helpful.

One of the best articles I read had actually broken worrying down into six different types of worriers.  The names of those six different types, were actually quite comical, but very on target.  I honestly could see a little of myself in each one.  It really is helpful to understand and to see "where" these worries come from, how they affect your living and what you can do to change it.  It isn't just as simple as STOP, never worry again, done, game over.  We know that isn't realistic.

The more I read and the more I reviewed the information out there about worrying, the more complex I realized it was and that it was such a huge thing in our lives.  It is very, very, toxic and to some people it is something that consumes them completely.  There are conditions and disorders in which worrying is the complete foundation or underlying cause.

One way to really monitor yourself to see where your worries come from is to try this method I read about:

Journal about this seriously and take the time to write down every single worry that crosses your mind RIGHT NOW!!!  Don't think about it too hard, just write it down. Try doing this for 5 minutes.  Take a look at your list. Some of your worries will have a corresponding action.  For those particular worries, write down the action (Call the school,  schedule appointment, make deposit).  The unproductive worries will not have any matching actions.  They are guaranteed waste of time and energy !!!! Get rid of them.  Keep doing this and analyze your findings.  You will soon see how much of your worrying is worthless!  You can then focus on spending that time in a productive manner and actually enjoy it.

Honestly, it is very simply taking the time to "think" before jumping off into the big huge ocean of worries.  The many things that I feel would keep the mind more balanced and more free from the chains of worry:

·     Taking a deep breath and  cultivating empty moments.  Sometimes what we need isn't necessarily  a distraction, but a moment to ourselves.   Not jumping on your smart phone to see what the latest is on social media,  watching TV or playing a game, but actually being with yourself for a moment, just silently.

·        Practicing self acceptance is very important. Excessive self-criticism is a major source of worry.  Learn to love the one you're with.  That is very powerful!!!

·        Meditate and try to clear your head.  Be logical about things and respect yourself.  No matter what the outcome, try to find the positive things instead of focusing on where you could have done something differently or how you did something wrong.

·       Organize your time so that you are not burdened by too much at once.  It is helpful to have a daily agenda and follow it.  It is a great strategy in the long run and can assist you in many ways you probably would have never thought of.

·      Limit your responsibilities, this can be very difficult for some of us who want to take on the world.  But, you can also become your own worst enemy by putting too much on your own plate.  It is OK to say no from time to time and if it means you won't be so worried about all this "stuff".  By all means, set limitations for yourself.

·       Put some trust in yourself......None of us can foresee anything really!  Have faith that you can handle what life puts in front of you.  There are often precautions and preparation for natural disasters, such as storing food,  water and first aid.  Take the same attitude with every uncontrollable force in your life.  Just make sure you ease your worries in preparation and not fuel your worries.  Know when enough is enough!

·       Live in the moment.  Don't worry about the future or dwell upon the past, we aren't living in either of those two places.  Stay in the here and now.  This simplifies things significantly.  It is a great tool.  Planning and setting goals is a healthy way to look forward, but that is about as far as you should take it. 

·      Count your blessings.  If you are reading this, you have something to be grateful for, some people can't even do that much.  You either have a phone, a friend, or an Internet connection.  That is something to be grateful for.  Look at the things you do have, instead of the things you don't.  Focus on the things that you should cherish in your life.  There is good in every one's lives - you have to be able to find it.   Be grateful that you have the ability to think for yourself, that you can comprehend the beauty the world has to offer and that you can dream anything you want to dream!!! And I know that deep down in each and every one of us, there is a dreamer!

 

Priscilla

 

If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change a past or future event, then you are residing on another planet with a different reality system.  -  William James

 

 

 

The Beginning - Motherhood Overload Much - M.O.M.

New Beginnings are always fun, eye opening, exciting, refreshing and sometimes necessary.  This is one of those beginnings for me.  I am a very grateful mother of two beautiful daughters who are the center of my world.  I have been down many different career paths, mostly being a Paralegal and Senior Management.  I recently was given the opportunity to be a stay-at-home-Mom & have been doing that for a short time.

 

Another lifelong passion of mine is photography, but I never really put two and two together and made it an actual hobby. The more serious I became about it, the more I began to learn and perfect my work.  I can honestly say that I truly love it and have a immense passion for it.  I have had the time to be able to focus on my family and my photography business, which is remarkable!

 

I never dreamed the road to becoming a MOM would be so complex.  There is no true way to foresee everything that the road is paved with, it one of those things in life you must experience to truly understand. It is unbelievably different than anyone really realizes - being a stay-at-home-Mom, that is.  You have this idea that Mom's that stay at home have all the time in the world, they get to do all this fun stuff, eat chocolate all day, interact with kids, belong to various groups, participate in school activities as well as the extra curricular ones.  To top it off..... you have time to exercise and be fit, watch what you eat, fix special meals, shop the best sales, therefore, you are always looking cute, and with all these leisurely activities, you are never stressed or on overload because it is one of the easiest things you could possibly do - right????? WRONG!!!  Wow, did I ever have a shocking surprise.  I think the description I just wrote is the typical "social definition" or what society thinks about being a stay-at-home-Mom. 

 

I am not at all here to complain, rather..... I am here to explain.  I think any Mom who would be reading this can understand my emotion.  There is no greater joy than being able to spend all the time you can raising your kids.  It is the ultimate gift and experience.  I wouldn't go back and change anything about my decision to do it.  It has made me feel complete, not guilty and no striving so hard to try to "make up" for anything.  But, at the same time, when you have been career oriented since graduation, there is a big part of your life that is missing and that is the outside world.

 

Your day is like any other, busy, full of chaos and activity - hour after hour.  I did develop a schedule for my daughter and I to follow.  I broke it down into 1/2 hour and 1 hour time spans.  Even with a schedule, it is truly a rat race.  When you begin and finish something, it is time to move on and do the next thing.  This pattern goes on and on for the entire day.  It is fun, don't get me wrong, but also very exhausting.  Then you also have to remember that you are a wife as well and you can't forget about yourself either.  You have to fit your own personal time into this busy little schedule.  The housework, laundry, grocery store, post office, phone calls, cooking, homework, the list goes on - must be crammed into the schedule as well.  Then there are always those times, that one or both of the girls are sick and usually the end result is you being sick too!  Who has time for that?  This is just really a brief overview of a days work......are you tired yet? ;)

 

So, I decided that I just needed more to do I guess (just kidding, sort of).  Honestly though, I thought perhaps designing a blog would help me to be able to connect and share my experiences with others who have the same common thread.  I am hoping with time that taking the time to reach out will allow me to bond with others who have the same challenges, as well as accomplishments.

 

I thought perhaps it would be therapeutic to connect with others and hold hands through this journey of Motherhood. Because this Mommy is often on overload - hence the name (Motherhood Overload Much).

 

I hope you enjoy!!